Peer Guyana

Musical Chairs

2011-10-29T02:18:00.000-04:00

I remember as a child growing up, my late father would always take me to his office's Christmas parties where I'd get a chance to interact with the other children and play musical chairs. Now for those who're not too familiar with the term, it implies a group of individuals traversing a series of chairs while some sort of sound is being played, the objective is to avoid being the only one left without a chair because each time the music stops a person gets ousted as well as a chair.

Can You Notice the Difference in this Photo?

The Puppet Masters

2011-10-20T21:13:00.001-04:00

I remember as a youth growing up, my grand father would always say "so you think...so you shall become". I kept contemplating on his wise theory up until a few years ago when it really hit me what he was trying to imply. No it didn't mean your over all persona, nor your insight into something, it meant the way us human beings perceive things from others.

Apart from being bombarded with the Prat People Party's annoying advertisements and commercials about what happened prior to 1992, there still remains the question of why us Guyanese vote. What specifically has changed since the government gained power in 1992 besides $GY 200 to US$ 1, one stadium, billions of dollars in debt, limiting tv and radio stations, limiting any outside form of telecommunications improvement and another ~~piece-of-shit~~ floating bridge?

Enforcing change doesn't mean forming multiple alliances with other parties...it means changing the perception of people in a country. And no...not a month or two before elections.

It's sad that the people of this country can never change unless they enforce change on themselves.

"So you think...so you shall become".

Kitnapped.

2011-09-30T13:50:00.002-04:00

Ey yo, it's viking blood aka Stolid Charisma aka nipple terrorist aka womb slayer just telling all the fans and shit. I bring an end to this SC shit as of right now aite? Be easy..

I been slapping niccas through brick walls for 3+ years, and be clear. I laughed at all them suckas. The cats going away.. but don't chu think the mice will play. I got chall in spirit!

Bitches ain't Shit.

2011-09-21T16:57:00.002-04:00

Something wrong with the other gender.. follow me..

It's not man work and woman work, it's logic.. and woman logic.

Follow me, it's like this.

Cellphone.. no, satellite phone.. calls bish in town.

"Baby, I be working hard like a slave in the jungle to give us a comfortable life. I will be home tomorrow. But, I will need this item as soon as I reach. An item that is used in a machine that build this world that women can't live a second without yet they know nothing about it. Sorta like how you're on your cellphone on Facebook all fucking day and has not the slightest fucking clue or concern how any of this none primitive shit was built. I need a sprocket, not sprinkles, a sprocket. I will text you the fine details so you don't FUCK UP, again, like last time. Take care"

"Okay baba, love you!"

Next day, you meed a bag of fucking yellow and silver sprinkles cause she thought you would dig the monochromatic tone. Sumptin wrong with that gender.. Bitch, go get cha self preggo or something!

Appreciation Day? ....Really?

2011-09-11T11:12:00.001-04:00

As I sat there with my remote, plantain chips and fish all neatly organised for consumption, I flicked the channels of the television to see what I'd miss from the previous month or so. I then saw something which made my stomach cringe for a short period of time; a large banner ran across the screen reading "President's Appreciation Day, September 16th, Guyana National Stadium, Providence".

I kept reading this text over atleast 3 times until I came to grip with what I was trying to divulge...then I asked myself, out of all the presidents Guyana has had since gaining independence in 1966, why now? I tried to make sure that what I was trying to understand wasn't some kind of practical joke...but as I googled, binged, yahoo'd and asked, they all came up with the same result and of course Guyana Tymes leading the onslaught of kiss-ass-ness. I guess me ranting about how much of a sloppy leader our star bw0y BJ (no it doesn't mean blowjob you sick bastards) and his administration ~~are~~ was however, it's just sad to see that this hocus pocus is just a scheme to get the "Obama man" into full swing by year end before he goes extinct on account of using old policies as new ideas and Wikileaks

Who Gon' Stop Wiki?

2011-09-11T11:00:00.002-04:00

Apparently Wikileaks is starting to get on Prezi nerves and he's convinced the American Expatriates are out to get him. Then again what's this freedom of information thing about? Why are there only three channels in Linden (of course one of them is Government owned)? Why does Berbice only have a limited number as well? Why is Prezi so afraid of constructive criticism, that he chases reporters out of press conferences? Why is he shaving off his limsy? Y'all betta watch out before y'all hear Wikileaks close down on account of BJ.

Freedom Day

2011-08-03T17:48:00.004-04:00

Apparently August 1st was celebrated as the day the "Africans" were "freed". What better way for TV stations to remind the descendants of their ancestors by showing Roots straight through the week as well as a mix of Amistad among other movies for their entertainment purposes. I guess nobody had the decency to show the startling contributions "Africans" made through out history. Ahh well...back to Roots Part 3 and celebrating the Year of People of African Descent with absolutely no commemoration.

Summah Tyme

2011-07-28T20:15:00.007-04:00

So apparently Jamzone's Summer Break (Nb: Here in Guyana we do NOT...do NOT have Summer but they call it a Summer Break anyway) is about to kick off with a bang (literally).

This annual event features 10 nights of jam packed HIV, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, The Clap and other featured diseases that we forgot to mention. Beside that, it's a fun event for the entire family featuring several entertainment venues including a Regional Night, Bollywood aka Chutney Night, International Night and the Master's Cup T20 cricket competition among other spanned events.

Coming to ~~America~~ Guyana are International Artists' Trey Songz and Eve as well as dancehall sensations Vybz Kartel aka Whitey aka Bleacher aka Addi Teacha as well as Mavado aka I stole my name from a watch aka the 'Gully God'. The HJ entertainment crew has issued a warning that even with these two regional artists on stage there should be peace without indecent language use like GAZA and GULLY or any potential stabbing on either side by the next generation GT youths.

In other Summer Break News, several Guyanese 'Trey Songz' Groupies had this to say on the popular social networking site Facebook.

PS. Please click the image below to enlarge. (Notice anything strange about the profile pictures?)

Reachin' For Greatness

2011-07-19T00:53:00.004-04:00

Every time I hear or see a Guiness commercial, I keep envisioning a positive leader that can motivate an entire country with just a speech or two...even with unprecedented actions. Now I've seen what "reaching for greatness", even when you're not there yet, can do to a man.

No I'm not talking about a man participating in a great debate, a man reaching the top position in an Olympic relay nor a man seeking to get retribution by spending 27 years in prison for trying to overthrow a government(hope the FBI doan track me down for the word overthrow in these sensitive times). No folks...I mean a man on his way to becoming president of Guyana due to the NACTA (Not Another Country Tactical Association) association as well as the confidence of a man who once had a full head of hair when he was prezi (I ain't gonna call names). We hope the new Don Barack Obama Rummotar can paint the picture as well as he says he can before putting all his squash in one basket.

Ps. I'm back like Urkel shades.

Fuck Simone..

2011-07-08T18:35:00.003-04:00

I mean fuck Rihanna stans..

Stans and haters are the same thing. One loves an artiste shit (such as S&M), the other hates to see an artiste do well. Kill ya fucking self..

I don't watch E092 aka 'Everybody favourite artiste Rihanna' aka 'Everybody favourite rapper Nicky Minaj' cause it's a bunch a fucking stupid news and stanning.

I caught the end of it tonight, I only unmuted it because I saw Jamie Foxx. I said wow.. are they bringing Jamie for Jamzone.. leh me un mute.

Nah.. it was stan ass Simone talking about how much it cost for Rihanna to make music and feature Nicky so that we all tilt our heads say aww, feel sorry for Riri.. run out and buy Loud and love the bajan so called herpes ass beauty a little more.

'It cost Riri 20k to get her song written' awww..

'They having writing camps with 40 guys and they have to get Riri shit so that she feels like singing' aww..

'Then Riri has to kiss record execs ass and take them to dinner and come up with a marketing strategy' (no she doesn't.. but still) aww..

'So then it cost a million US for a Rihanna hit' Of course it will you stupid stan. When you have herpes, and music engineers have to fix your fucked up voice, you can't dance and your ass is like the canteen after 3pm (no bunz).. of course it's gonna cost a lot to sound nice. Oh nah nah..

The most insulting thing about this, more insulting that this bullshit being in my face from a stan ass bitch like I fucking care, is that as a music enthusiast this is .. just, winding.

'It cost 50k for Nicky verse' - look, fool, listen, do you know how much it cost for a Eminem, or Jay-z verse.. you Nicky ass stan?

Do you know how much a Dr.Dre or Timberland beat cost?It cost Rihanna's album budget.. get the fuck outta here with your stan facts. Nobody wanna hear that shit.

Then we got Digicel fan page that has become fucking ruined by her dumb ass friend with her limited mental capacity to think of an inclusive online promotion.. the only people included in her dumb ass ideas are dumb ass little girls like herself.

You know how bad it looks when a dark skin girl forces herself into a crew of red skin girls? Ask .. nah, I won't include him in this mess.

But I don't fuck with Digi fan page at all. Fuck that page.. I can read between the lines. The only thing stopping them from cussing me for cussing them for being juvenile is because it will result in them being fired. So if you dying to say fuck you Stolid.. well, fuck you ... Shonet.

A true lie.

2011-07-07T18:19:00.003-04:00

Paradox..

Let me put it in normal guy language. Picture you have this network. And your computer is only supposed to download dah tah.. But something is wrong with the written program or something. In which, it can only do one thing.. but it's trying to download and upload at the same time.

Or like a logic loop like in the South Park episode FunnyBot.

For those who didn't see it, and chances are you didn't.. because the last 2 people I knew that cared for South Park claim it fell off and they no longer watch.. disloyal hazz niccas v_v, a robot called funny bot was created. He was about to kill everybody thinking it would be the greatest joke ever. So, to stop him.. they gave him an award. And, to the robot it would mean.. to collect the award means he already created the greatest jokes, it also means he takes comedy seriously, and comedians are not supposed to take shit serious, so.. it started smoking up and shit.

We get the picture..

I was laughing to mah self. People that hate on ya boy always try and put the issue to rest with the simple explanation. 'Stolid is an imbecile..'

Look, when you see a frog jump into moving traffic and die, and you say frogs are stupid. You think nothing of it because another stupid frog jumps into a Cevon's waste management truck. Now you can walk away with the satisfaction that your conclusion checks out.

But when you in a black water creek behind Vergenogen.. and a piranha bites off your fucking toe. And to save your self from more bites, you kick out your feet and chase the piranha away, and you'd like to dismiss that fish as stupid. But this same stupid fish sneak up behind you whilst you try to walk away with the satisfaction that this fish is stupid and bites your ass again. We got a problem here.. you're saying this fish is stupid whilst he eats out all of your toes.

That's what it's like for my haters..

I skin em open like I'm about to give them some nice dick then I stick a lemon up their coochie. Now they pissed. Instead of saying damn.. I was just a victim of fraud, they say 'Scuff, he stupid'.

Then I catch em slipping and expose them with my words again... oh oh.

So then my haters start getting violent man. It's real hypocrisy because they start acting like everything they accuse me of.

People like Ruel and Gordon.. they start smoking up and their circuits start tripping out like the robot in Funny Bot, cause everytime they say I'm stupid, I do something smart. And until I go away.. haters forever be tripping!

Revolution

2011-06-28T11:34:00.005-04:00

I was once watching a youtube video discussing racism in European football. I will embed it as soon as I find it if my word isn't proof enough of the situation. Heckling.. throwing of bananas to show that black people are monkeys.. In the 2006 Germany world cup, they were forced to implement a rule that, whichever team receives racism, the match will be called off and they will be awarded the full points.

They went on to say, in the west.. this seems archaic because in America there was the civil rights movement. There was no such thing in europe. So even in 2006, they didn't 'get it'. Now remember this as I switch gears.

You've heard of times past. Crucifixion of Christ. Catholic crusades. Slavery.. time when you'd probably lose your hand if caught stealing. Or maybe you missed all of that and saw the movie Hurricane with Denzel Washington. A few things are common about those times in hindsight.. it was an unlearned time, it was uncivilised, it was barbaric.

What makes us say that? Revolution. The time is upon us when even homophobia will seem like it was around when a placed called Pangaea still existed.

Switching gears again, women have had revolution too, a push. They've had a change up in pace. But what's a push for regularising trade and capitolism.. without a revolution against slavery? What's a push for the abolition of slavery without revolution allowing freed slaves to sit where they please on the bus? What's a strengthened judicial system if there isn't revolution against removing your arm for stealing, revolution for treating prisoners like human beings, and revolution against the death penalty?

Are you following? There can't be a positive change without first removing the negative. You're not going to just gain muscle.. you'll want to lose some fat in the process, isn't that so?

I'm here to argue that, women have experienced a positive push without having a revolution against them to remove the negative.

Okay, there was revolution against some of muslim laws towards or against women in the west. You can no longer just beat yourwife, she isn't your slave like that anymore. There have been many other revolutions against men, to change our behaviour. But once again, zero revolution against woman folk, whom is far from perfect.

Have you ever heard women speak on rape? The most intelligent of women will give you the most ignorant, uncivilised and barbaric of proposals. Prepare to hear of death penalties and castrations. The train of thought of women, is untamed and very raw. The mind of women, is in the 13th century. They're 700 years behind if you listen to them!

There was an incident recently. A chick, very scantly dressed. In fact, she was only wearing a big jersey. She goes to change back into her usual clothes, a guy goes to walk into the room whilst she was changing by accident, but I wasn't born yesterday so I know he knew she was in there and wanted to see and pass it as an accident.

In case you're trying to fill in the blanks, it's guy one, his sister, and his visiting friend.

Now let me tell you, she was PISSED!

Pissed in a way only a woman can be pissed over such things. Kinda like how dogs get pissed at seeing cats.. only dogs know what's so upsetting about that. Untamed and wild if you ask me..

Now she is pissed, her brother is pissed. The other guy is left like a deer in the headlight because he was stopped just before committing the crime. On hearing the story, I myself was very disappointed. For a long time.. a good 10 minutes. Then after emotions went, my logic took over.

There is something about women, to wear a short pants/skirt and always pull it down. Wear a light material dress and hold it when the wind blows. Wear no bra and and low cut, and hold their breast as they run to catch the bus. Something about women to be wearing a short pants at home, but when you visit, she puts on something long before coming outside to you. Women are very particular about that stuff..

So why then, was this guy sister parading for half an hour with just a t-shirt. Ass crack well printed out, almost a damn wedgie. Nipples printing through, her curves, and the t-shirt ain't that long to begin with. So 90% of her legs is not left to imagination. Blaming the guy is like blaming a horse to responding to his senses of smell and sight when it sees and smells fresh grass. Put yourself in her shoes. You as a guy, only in your boxers when your sister friend is over. And you know you have a very sexual body. It's not your sister's friend fault.. it's your fault. You know exactly what you're doing or you're letting yourself deliberately become ignorant of what you're doing. You planted the seed in your sis friend's head, she just came over for a dvd.

So you see what I'm saying? At the end, we all agreed. Even the guy whose sister was almost violated. I don't know if any women will agree.

But this is what I'm saying. There is attempt at revolution against women, but many ignorant educated women say, dressing a certain way is no invitation, or no excuse for someone that commits a sexual crime. That is not so..

You have a responsibility. Leaving your store unlocked doesn't justify anyone robbing you but YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY. ..to lock your damn store.

Anyway, I forgot where I was going with this, amma just publish and forward it on Phrasebook. But as men, with no revolution to temper a woman's negative mindset, attitudes and behaviour, we can only continue to be players and jerks or risk being fucked over by savage wild animals.

Anxiety Law.

2011-06-11T12:09:00.003-04:00

Dear Stella Ramsaroop,

Guyana's political parties are not afraid of Gender Equality (if we didn't have that already, I thought we did), the political parties of Guyana are intuitively afraid of something else.

Inferiority, supremacy .. the only reasons we talk about equality. Gender and race equality as it be. Equality is never raised by the superior, always the inferior. But what if both parties are equal and one feels inferior? Well, that's what you call an inferiority complex.

White, western nations were put on a guilt trip, in this case we look at a guilt trip over gender imbalance. It became a very touchy topic, especially for abusive white perpetrators that know they were wrong so they got hung ups about karma and such. Legislators became nervous. Instead of fixing the imbalance, they over compensated.

I bet it was similar to the Guyana's sexual offences bill, in that.. nobody wanted to raise questions or objection in fear of being seen as 'So are you trying to say you support rape and domestic violence?' No, I do not support rape and domestic violence. It's just that as a fan of homocide, I don't appreciate it being as severe a crime as rape. Tell me, would you prefer to be raped or killed? So how could they carry in the same, in some cases.. homocide carries a lesser penalty. I don't think I can kill enough people for a judge to sentence me to castration.

As I was saying! Intuitively.. Guyana Political parties knows legislators over compensated with the United Nations (UN) Optional Protocol to the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women.

You know? One minute somebody built a wooden bench. The next minute environmentalist are burning down your SUV. One minute somebody shot and killed an injured deer to put him out of his misery, the next minute.. kids are being arrested for posting Youtube videos of them killing butterflies and being put in the fire for animal cruelty.

You catch my drift? Some craziness happens overseas. We in Guyana are previledged to have certain freedoms. We are blessed to not have many laws tabled by a small group of psychotic minorities. In a similar case, one day Richard stabs his wife, the next minute wives became the next Queen of England and the law ALWAYS favors them. That is not right!

Lonely, bitter, fat, homosexual feminist always seem to nominate themselves as the voice of all women. I'm sorry, all women are not lonely, bitter, fat and homosexual. You speak for yourself! Everytime feminist come with these laws it's like the scene in the Facebook movie when Eduardo's shares were diluted and Mark's shares wasn't.. in that, we're glad you want progress but it's funny how the progress only has implications on others.

It's like watching dogs ask for birds shitting on wind shields to be a crime whilst they're free to piss on as many rims as they want. If they want to play, I can play. It's about time we have serious discussions on condescending, imrpomtu, provoking, incessesant, abusive language pregnant with hyperboles more commonly known as nagging, and it's far reaching negative implications as determined by the receiver.

Baw and shawty fight.

2011-05-16T17:42:00.003-04:00

Player Gets Played in Love Game

Dear Abigail,

I'm a 28 year old woman. I had a longtime boyfirned whom I did not treat well. He deservingly lost trust in me and we spent three years geographically and emptionally apart.

He had two girlfriends furing that time and that he said he forced himself to like. I have dated several men since then and tried to move on, but none of them compare to him.

He has since completed returned home and has no reservations about showing up to places that are my ''territory'' (i.e, he has no reason to be there other than to create jealousy).

When we are at the same place, he flirts and tells people how we used to date. He is pretty boisterous in a crowd.

Never the less, I can't stop thinking about him; even his annoying characteristics seem to drive me wild.

I have invited him to go places, just to chill with friends. He sometiems doesn't reply, and I know it's a test to see how persistent I can be.

I truely love this man, but I don't believe he's acting properly by playing games. What will it take to get this man back in my life for good? Should I play this childish game?

Wasting Time.

Dear Wasting Time,

You don't the game your ex is playing, but it seems to be working - with you, anyway.

And so.. game on!

If you want your ex back, then you should ignore him. If he shows up at a club and you're present, you should slip out the back.

If he flirts with others in front of you, you should squint and then offer to fix him up with a friend of yours.

You two are behaving in predictable ways and you obviously have unresolved business to work out. You could cut through the nonesense by being honest and candid, giving him a chance to reject you, but what is the fun in that?

Stolid II: OR! Or......... or, you can get two pieces of rope. Both 5 feet, and you both can get together and hang yourselves. But before you do that, squint at Abigail, and shoot that bitch for committing crimes in corniness.

Why Social Networks Distract People

2011-04-27T21:04:00.009-04:00

E-magine these people posting all these notices and yet they can't edit something as basic as a spelling mistake...Sigh.

Rammore Tar: Overconfident?

2011-04-27T21:02:00.000-04:00

Mayne...Rammore Tar actin as if he already Prezi and shid. I might as well be rockin' a ball head like him and BJ. Maybe pack on 200lbs and boast about moving the country forward even though I've been in the regime more than the current President.

2011-04-07T12:04:00.002-04:00

I support Friddie Kissoon insulting that cracker Stella Ramsaroop. Fuking cracka came to corrupt our women and gender balance. Fuck you.

Conglomerate Gangstas

2011-03-06T12:19:00.003-04:00

It seems as though this election thing is getting pretty serious down in GT.

- Kwame acting up due to his ~~period~~ situation being a month late.

-Benschop jumping fences and getting his vehicle windscreen smashed

-Don Gomes rejecting to comment on his float infront of NCN reporters

- Priya actually supporting men's forums

- Bharrrrat-ta-tat-tat blaming the PNC for failing since the 1980's.

- Luncheon still pronounces words not even the media personnel can understand.

- Roheee still thinks he's going to be president and expect the population to be the same.

Who's next?

NBBKDW Pass it on!

2011-02-06T00:38:00.000-04:00

NBBKDW (National Blackberry Knock Down Week)

In the height of all this fallin' in fountain and jumping infront of vehicle for a mobile phone, we at Peer Guyana have dedicated a special week to people who own Blackberries (or other 'smart' phones) 'cause they think it's uber cool...even though half of the services don't work here.

We urge owners of Blackberries who for some reason, never pay attention to what they're doing to watch out for a black car running them over, a driver getting out shaking his head while stomping on the phone, laughing and then finally driving away. Tell your friends, family and neighbours about the awareness.

This has been a paid message from Observer.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (Guyanese Version)

2010-11-12T22:30:00.004-04:00

So I was on one of my regular bouts of changing channels simultaneously until I found
something interesting enough to watch. I switched to NCN channel 11.

On the stage was ~~Cameltoe~~ Big Red recreating to seemed to be the 'Guyanese whine' but then, as I brought myself closer to the tv set, it was apparently Courts' annual Christmas Tree Light up.

Not only was Big Red doing the 'Guyanese whine', she was apparently entertaining a large amount of children who were supposedly between 5 to pre-teen. Their purpose there? To see Santa Clause. No, it got worse. She was wearing a red pair of pants (tight). But no, it got worserous (new word). The MCs thought it would've been a good idea to play a legitimate song such as Party Hard by Donaeo so that the children can follow along with the lyrics.

Look Hen C Hen...If y'all wanted to torture me with this type of entertainment y'all bin might as well tie a carcass on me and let the crows eat me alive after they run out of food.

We're Alive and Kickin'

2010-10-09T02:29:00.004-04:00

Wow...jus' three (3) months and look at this place. I see Stolid's still fightin' the good fight and in the words of Ali G...respek! Unknown and I got caught up in some cattle smugglin' across Venezuela and...and...long story. The point is we're back like Wheat Bread and Nutbutter. We gon keep all yuh posted.

Robeson on a Roll

2010-07-02T02:19:00.006-04:00

Daymn Robeson... you're beginning to look like the black version of the Terminator, mowing down billboards and shit with chainsaws.

How'd you feel if your wife tried to cut off you penis with a chainsaw knowing it's significance eh? Where was Hammy when all of this occurred?

Where was Robeson when "prominent" business men were hoisting Bharrat's 3rd term Presidency billboard all over Georgetown...eh?

Pro-Governmental Blog Skinup

2010-06-29T01:43:00.009-04:00

Apparently, the ~~bright intelligent ingenious~~ so called smart folks over at Live in Guyana have opted to post an affidavit that they thought would sensitize the local media and general public about the current situation relating to the case of Mr. C.N.Sharma and the 13 year old girl he reportedly had sexual contact with and impregnated.

However, these ~~geniuses~~ so called smart people failed to understand the basic principles of posting personal information about the teenager's address & name to probably over a hundred visitors *claps*. This brings the researchers of Peer Guyana over to the thought of who is responsible for leaking out the controversial affidavit.

It is generally known that only Police officers and the office of the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) are capable of handling such personal information, yet it superseded in being scanned and re posted on a pro-government blog. Could it be that the document was either sold by one of the officers responsible or someone deep within the DPP secretly shared this information?

Will the blogger ever be exposed? Will BJ clear his bald spot? Will Priya ever get a neck back? Will Julius ever be found? Will Rohee run for Presi? Will Chad ever use a cream or glasses cause ' he looks like shit on the evening news? More to come...

It Bothers Me...

2010-06-26T22:59:00.005-04:00

It bothers me that we can't spell the word "tonight" anymore. Is it a social trend, that to advertise a basic product, service or some form of recreation, that spelling t-o-n-i-g-h-t instead of t-o-n-i-t-e is hip and sporty? *Shakes head*.

What about the word "colour" or saying football instead of sayin' "Hey, did you watch world cup soccer?"

Look...this nonsense has to stop just like Hits and Jams raping Justin Bieber videos to look kewl and hippity hip...stop it...*slap* stop it now!

Worth More Dead Than Alive?

2010-06-22T00:08:00.002-04:00

Read an article earlier today stating that Michael Jackson's assets have sky rocketed to approximately $1 Billion dollars +. Which meant that people only knew about his songs until he died and started buying out albums out of sympathy.

This brings me to wonder...how much money will mah boy Jaggy be worth when he's ~~still running for President in 2011~~ gone off to his farm somewhere in Mahaica like he said on BBCs Hard Talk?

Rip Guyana 911...we'll keep the laughs coming.

Observer 2011
Vote now...find out later.

Wanted: Wanted Police Officers to Recruit

2010-06-16T04:05:00.003-04:00

Applicants to fill for the suitably qualified position(s) of corrupted police officer(s). Requirements include;

2 Subjects CXC/GCE non-inclusive of Mathematics or English Language.
1 Valid Expired Driver's Licence.
Good written, oral/verbal communication to scare the shit out of civilians.
Good command of the creole English Language.
Must be able to pronounce and spell Bicycle.
Must be 5'6 and over.
Must be from out of town/rural areas.
Must be able to stop people randomly, check their vehicles, find some soft drinks and collect it for evidence and or future reference.
Must be able to know what a towel means.
Must be capable of liming with a semi-automatic rifle without squeezing the trigger.
Must be capable of gun butting someone if they don't have the money to buy you some water.
Must know who the Commissioner of Police is.

Applicants who do not possess the following qualities need not apply. Date of termination of this (these) positions will be on July 20th, 2010. Applicants are asked to forward e-mails, questions and suggestions to peerguyana@gmail.com.

KNews &The Govuhment Gone Real Sour?

2010-06-16T03:35:00.005-04:00

US trafficking in persons report is ‘crap’ - Govt.
June 15, 2010 | By KNews | Filed Under

The government yesterday reacted angrily to Guyana being placed on the Tier 2 Watch List of the US government annual report on trafficking in persons.
“We are friends with the US, but this kind of reporting is hurting our friendship and really I believe is based on sheer ignorance and eye-pass and this report could, I think, be legitimately considered crap,” said Priya Manickchand, Minister of Human Services and Social Security.
She spoke at a press conference less than two hours after the report was released by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
“There is no justification for Guyana being on the Tier 2 watch list this year or in previous years,” she said at a press conference shared with Minister of Home Affairs, Clement Rohee, Minister of Education, Shaik Baksh and Head of the Presidential Secretariat, Dr Roger Luncheon.
“We are rather bewildered by these entreaties that we must carry out activities which we are already carrying out,” said Minister of Home Affairs Clement Rohee, referring to some of the recommendations made in the report, including for public awareness about trafficking in persons.
Being placed on the Tier 2 Watch List has implications for sanctions on non-trade and non-humanitarian assistance. “They have been unable to sustain the kind of diatribe that they run against Guyana, transparent with numbers,” said Dr Luncheon.
“We don’t doubt that trafficking exists; whether it does to justifying putting Guyana on Tier Two and to offend this government and this nation with this tripe that is produced annually by the State Department by the most opaque of units in the state department, TIPS Unit, we have to repudiate, if we gotta go public and we’re going to be aggressive about this position,” he declared.
“There is something sinister as far as we are concerned in manufacturing TIPS and manufacturing TIPS to the extent to be saying that, ‘Guyana you’re go be on Tier 3 in 2011,’” Dr Luncheon added.
Dr Luncheon was also concerned about what he said was a morphing of child labour into the rubric of trafficking.
“I don’t believe the US is unaware of what is trafficking as opposed to just exploitation. So some of this is either willful ignorance or malicious reporting,” said Manickchand.
Manickchand indicated that many people in Guyana might not fully understand what trafficking in persons is.
“People see prostitutes, for example, who are working at a restaurant and assume that every such prostitute you see is a victim of trafficking. That is not necessarily so,” she stated. More...

I find it hilarious that the government would react so...so...so much like little children playing in the sand, one decides to throw sand in the other one's eye and there's a big 'pash way' cause somebody nearly blind somebody. The US Report said what it had to say about one of the most corrupted states in the Caribbean...yes I said it...one of the most! Priya Man-in-charge should be the one doing the least amount of standing up since she always disappears when something related to her Ministry occurs (weh de Kwame story gone?). All of a sudden they're (the government) acting as if this is the first time something so devastating and vile has ever been reported about Guyana.

Down with prostitution and extortion!
Observer 2011

Cap'n Planet

2010-06-01T16:08:00.003-04:00

When all hope is lost...

Donations to Amaila Falls' Hydro Project Begins Excellently

2010-05-27T23:37:00.006-04:00

Apparently Mr. Makeshwar Fip Motilall (Head of Synergy Holdings) made and excellent contribution to the nearly $500 million Hydro Project at Amaila Falls.

Exactly what were the items, you ask?

- 1 Dragline
- 4 ATVs (All Terrain Vehicles aka. four wheeled bikes).

The folks here at Peer Guyana have generously dedicated Two thousand dollars (GY dollars) and a plastic spoon to start the dredging off with an even bigger bang.

Observer 2011

Freddie's New Name

2010-05-25T23:49:00.005-04:00

Daym Mayne Uncle Freddie got pelt flush in the face with a bucket a shyte.

Does this mean we have to start callin' him shit face?

You know...cause umm I'm just umm...sayin'.

My sympathy goes out to cleanin' out that car and the shit scent.

2010-05-25T21:56:00.009-04:00

From the makers of Grand Theft Auto Guyana & I Didn't Do It God Dammit.

In association with Senna Pod Inc. and Peer Guyana Productions.

Brings you the next generation of Adultery for 2011.

Get Yours Today!

GT&T...Supposedly "Gettin' Better All the Time"

2010-05-23T12:35:00.004-04:00

So I was on my usual quest for world domination when I read an article recently indicating a slight enhancement (4X faster to be exact) in bandwidth from the Guyana Telephone and Telegraph Company. The article also indicated that current users of the 256kbps bandwidth will not be required to pay extra for this boost in speed (yet).

The system is supposedly said to be in full effect in July of this year. So out of Georgetown citizens will have to wait another two years to benefit from this somewhat grand achievement (too bad) bestowed upon us by GT&T.

*Pelts Joe Singh in the head with a Black Berry on purpose & points to a Digicel Staff*.

Mosquito Zapper Reloaded

2010-05-17T17:45:00.004-04:00

So ah sit down in meh favourite rockin' chair to ketch' lil' wrestlin'.

All of a sudden...WHAPPP! WHAPP!

Ah spray Bug spray till' meh nose start bun.

So ah tell meh self, yuh know wah? Leh ah go down to Beepat's and go buy a mosquito Zappuh.

Ah swing left! Kill um! Ah swing right! Dead!

*Chuckles* Ah never see compliments smoke suh yet!

*Wife's voice in the distance*: Prakesh...your dinner's ready.

Prakesh: Ah comin' honey. Ah got some anfinished business with this Champion of the Earth award praisin'.

*Does Chinese Kung fu kick and screams wootah!*

Hen-C-Hen Staffers...

2010-05-14T11:42:00.002-04:00

I was watching Tv-G the other night, and I noticed in the Entertainment Section there was a familiar face. Then it hit me like in small days when someone pelt you with a snow cone ice, Janelle Persaud. I pondered for a minute or two," isn't that that girl that is be on ch.11?"

I confirmed my suspicions and came to the conclusion that Hen-C-Hen has problems maintaining staff (well...maybe not the first time). For almost every two months, there's at least one vacancy running across the screen for the need of a gardener/handyman or driver.

I guess there's just Natasha Smith...oh shit I mean Paul Moore and that ~~Amerindian~~ Indigenous chick's name I just mentioned that I'm way too lazy to type back which could have probably finished the whole point of this post.

FIYMI

2010-05-13T13:43:00.001-04:00

FIYMI commonly known as FlyInYuhMouthItis is a disease contracted when you inadvertently swallow a mosquito from eating, yawning, talking or any other co-activity involving the opening of the muscular ligaments in your jaw bone.

Some early signs date back as far as to when was the last time Georgetown was sprayed with insec-tuhsides ( since 1994). However, news reaching our staff has confirmed that there was some sort of spraying last year or maybe the year before.

This disease is very common in Georgetown, due to poor drainage maintenance and garbage disposal. The main culprits? The people responsible for maintaining the city in the first place.

Now the researchers at Peer Guyana aren't very sure whether malaria or yellow fever can be contracted from swallowing a 1 Lb mosquito, although there is speculation that can be evident of such cases. Now no need to worry, yellow fever or malaria only kills you within a week...so lets stick a pin that topic for a next time.

There have however been numerous cases of FIYMI occurring in semi-urban areas such as Berbice where you'd have to cover you mouth just to speak or wear long clothes in a 30 degree Celsius country during the day. More info on this disease as it unfolds...

$600M What?

2010-05-13T13:36:00.001-04:00

Apparently a newly established $600M Stelling collapses again in Supernaam and it sounds as if someone just too a dump on the CJIA tarmac without anyone looking nor any major concern about the welfare of the highly speculated dinero involved.

I guess $600 M is nothing hard to come by these days if you're trying to build a solid infrastructure and call it John, without it collapsing and killing people. All hail BJ..."champion of the earth". Did I mention "champion"? Maybe I can get an award for promoting this shit.

Real Champions of Earth

2010-05-07T15:35:00.001-04:00

We at Peer Guyana join the Hun-nu-rable Bharrat Jaggy in this whole fight to save a developing country's 60% forest and look good shit.

What we're going to do to pitch in;

- Hold a protest infront of GWI (Guyana Water Inc.) to cut wasting water on special holidays like Phagwah. Each person must spend a limit of at least 2.53 minutes in the bathroom. If they do not comply with these orders they will be crucified via. Priya's new molestation statute.

- Bring all the Indigenous people out of the interior to come live in Georgetown.

- Bottled water is prohibited from use. Only trench and pipe water.

- Throw mercury in the Essequibo river so that Indigenous people can't use the water.

- Go to impoverished areas to convince ~~Black People~~ Afro Caribbean brothers and sisters to purchase a free PPP T-Shirt to show lil' appreciation for the developmental progress they've made since 1996.

- Listen to Jaggy whine about some US Report.

- Beg for LCDS money by shining shoes for $500 (d0n't worry the amount will come up to something).

- Pray Giftland Office Maxs' Mall starts building even though this has absolutely nothing to coincide with what we're initially talking about.

- Raise money to help get Observer to that position (yes I'm referring to myself in third person) as President of Guyana 2011. Vote PGP (Peer Guyana Party).

- Flood Georgetown more so that the Government might look good donating produce to the "shut in".

- Did we mention flood Georgetown?

- Put Hammy on lockdown for cleaning the place up for once.

- Pray GPL doesn't disconnect M&CC again.

Apologies

2010-05-07T13:53:00.001-04:00

Dear Readers,
We apologise for the delay in posting for a week, unfortunately Unknown and myself got caught trying to steal cattle somewhere near Prashad Nagar.

Our witness: A 65 year old, one eyed security guard. Unfortunately Unknown got upset cause' we didn't end up being previewed on Court Roundup on News Update.

However, we'll try to keep the posts coming. I'm off to go watch American Gangster. God speed.

Cow Ketchin' Krew

Minute Problem

2010-04-23T23:45:00.005-04:00

Dear Folks over at GT&T,

Mankind decided to stroll over to your establishment on the basis of obtaining a "new" directory (2010 if you can't understand me indicating the term new). I collected the book and ignored the fact that it was somewhat smaller, however, I paid no mind.

Upon reaching home I decided to inspect my newly acquired instrument of gratification only to find out every thing was minute . I was so mesmerized at the font style and size that I couldn't help but to call a younger family member to assist in what the fuck y'all put on the pages. So I spent the next 10.5 minutes feeling like a grandparent being read to in my Berbice chair.

Next time make shit (legible) everyone can read.

PS: When mankind gon' get some better bandwidth. People sucking up bandwidth like a teenager experimenting with a vacuum.

Observer
Can't read shit.

New Business Venture

2010-04-23T23:02:00.001-04:00

Me and Unknown been talkin' the other day about this whole stray catching thing. We decided to go into a new business venture where we hire a set of junkies to hide in drains and canals and lasso some cattle so we can collect $5,000 per piece.

Now folks, I know this sounds harsh, but with this whole price wavering thing maybe we can quit the blogging business and open up an Abbatoir called Cows R' Us...our motto "We see it...we own it".

Wish us luck.

Cow Ketchin' Crew

Till' 2019

2010-04-18T16:31:00.004-04:00

With the rapid testosterone level of women in Guyana and the idea(s) of chopping off the scrotum of Television Channel owner C.N.Sharma, it is estimated that if he recovers from heart failure and is jailed...there is a probability that he won't be let out by 2019.

However, you can still buy your JFAP (Justice For All Party) membership cards at any participating liquor shop.

Vote for Observer 2011.

2010-04-09T13:43:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was supposed to be our one year anniversary. Feels just like yesterday we were lamenting Jaggy on his bald spot. Free juice boxes for everyone.

GPL is Like a Venereal Disease

2010-04-06T17:40:00.004-04:00

Is why mankind gotto pay light bill so early in the month followed by two hour blackouts?

I might as well invest in solar/wind power or start thiefin' fuel for my would be generator.

What Should Have Been NCN's Coverage of Easter Day Celebrations

2010-04-05T23:28:00.003-04:00

Report #1
Reporter (Female): Hey, what's your name?

Boy: Trevor

Reporter: So Trevor...are you enjoying the Easter Day celebrations?

Trevor: Yes

Reporter: Oh...ok. So how long did it take you to get that kite up?

Trevor: As long as it took me to get an erection near you.

Report #2
Reporter (Male): Hello everyone...we're here with Mr.Biggs trying to get his 7"5 kite successfully in the air. So Mr. Biggs how are the festivities going along so far?

Mr. Biggs: Good...man good real quiet and shid.

Reporter: *Long pause* O...k

*Mr. Biggs asks the reporter to hold onto the handle of the piece of wood he's using to maintain the kite.*

*Reporter holds and is dragged 25 feet across the National Park*

Report #3
Reporter (Female): So we're here with the family of Mr. Blackman, we're going to now move over to the matriarch of the family Mrs. Blackman. So Mrs. Blackman, what splendid dishes do we have here?

Mrs. Blackman: *Finishing off a piece of Bar-B-Que chicken* Wah? Oh...oh...*wipes hand on reporter's dress* Well...we geh some provisions, fish, jerk chicken, poke aka pokey for short, steamed vegetables, roti and curry with yellow rice...

Reporter: Ok...so we have a fine array or meals here I guess?

Mrs. Blackman: Well what you think it look like Dear?

Reporter: Well...

*Box*

Mrs Blackman: Is why the mother rass you push you fingers to open my blasted pot eh?

*Box*

2010-04-01T22:04:00.005-04:00

After some failed attempts at being successful in rendering his party as useful.

The honourable Robert Corbin as stepped down from the position of Presidential Candidate 2011.

However...he's still the leader of the party. Happy April Fools.

Reasons to be Scared of G-MAIL

2010-03-29T16:11:00.008-04:00

After doing my weekly browsing of e-mail clients, I decided to inspect my G-mail account to see what interesting business proposals from Japan, Nigeria, The Soviet Republic of Russia and other interesting countries that I can laugh my ass off at (LMAO for lamatahs).

Interestingly enough, I received this e-mail from an unfamiliar address;

E-mail: HELLO MY DEAR

cynthia mabou <cynthiamabou30@yahoo.com>

my name is Cynthia In my searching for friend today and i came across your email in my Google search after going through it.then i decided to contact you.Beside i have a special something i want to discuss with you, I will send my beautiful pictures.

Response: Observer

Re: HELLO MY DEAR

Dear Cynthia,
As much as I enjoy the company of the ~~fairer~~ opposite sex, I'm not sure whether I can determine the status of your e-mail correctly. However, I'm willing to send you a photo of myself in response to your e-mail attached below.

Hugs and kisses XoXoXoXo.

Observer
Secret Lover

Insulting?

2010-03-23T16:21:00.005-04:00

Apparently Auntie Pauline is bitching about suggestions that ~~Amerindians~~ Indigenous people in several ~~Amerindian~~ Indigenous communities can't comprehend nor understand the specifics pertaining to the LCDS.

Is it because they haven't fully explained to the ~~Amerindians~~ Indigenous people in layman's terms what exactly are the perks/disadvantages of the LCDS beside being limited to cutting down trees, mining or any other job pertaining to the environment?

They might as well start tying children to trees for days without feeding them to show what they mean.

Vote for Observer in 2011.

Rendezvous In Princess Int'l Hotel and Casino

2010-03-23T15:53:00.003-04:00

Unknown: Ey, you think we can go in the Casino?

Observer: I donno as yet, I don't think they allow locals.

Unknown: Bana, stop talkin' schupidness. So what happen if I bring 20 grand to splurge on some of those white girls?

Observer: ...

Unknown: You think they sexy?

Observer: ...

Unknown: Bana why yuh behavin' so quiet?

Observer: I...I...I see...I see...Bourgeoisie people!

Unknown: *Looks around* Nooo!!! *collapses*

The Race of Champions

2010-03-18T10:23:00.002-04:00

How to be a good Thief in Guyana

2010-03-16T17:40:00.004-04:00

I'm referring to an article in the KNews dated 2010/03/02.

Standard procedure(s) for first time thieves;

- Read a book called Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell (video game is apprehendable at your expense).

- A good thief must be a good runner otherwise your ass will be blown away from a 12 gage shot gun or chased by a rottweiler.

- Make sure NO ONE is in the vicinity of the area you are planning to steal from.

- Make sure you wear dark clothing.

- Make sure the owner(s) have no animals such as jaguars, dogs, pigs, snakes etc.

- Make sure you don't have a cold/common influenza.

- Remember stealth is key.

- Make sure you have adequate "bruck out" tools to get away if things get heated.

- Make sure you're wearing adequate footwear otherwise something might get caught in your Achilles area/foot.

- Make sure you don't have a talkative companion.

And there folks are your basic tips for not getting caught.

Don't Second Guess this Thing...!

2010-03-11T11:09:00.003-04:00

Dear ~~Amerindian~~ Indigenous Leaders,

Not because the government promised y'all some tractors and ATVs, give you the right to go ahead with what ever they propose for the "betterment" of the country et al. Let me quickly break down the LCDS "project" for you in a couple of lines;

- Affects Forestry

- Affects Mining

- Affects probably Aquaculture to an extent

Meanwhile, stalling on land disputes doesn't mean solving any confrontational tension/issues with the forces of demand and supply...specifically demand, since it doesn't really solve anything in the end result. Now lets go back to when Bartica had an issue with this 'clause'. Absolutely nothing significantly changed besides bribing Barticians to come to some sort of reconciliation of some kind to stop it from completely shutting down. The point is...don't give into temptation. Vote for Observer to be your next leader for the 2011 elections and I guarantee you, you'll never have to go through this sort of torture.

Ps; I'm scared of the interior. Maybe I can get Benschop to run for Minister of Amerindian Affairs instead of just Mayor. Down with overseas votes! *Whooo*

Observer
Blogger/Presidential Hopeful

Something to Think About

2010-03-09T00:00:00.002-04:00

$37 Million Invested to Spray Away Annoying People

2010-03-02T10:26:00.003-04:00

Given the history of Guyana’s post elections street demonstrations and the imminent upcoming General Elections, the Government has moved toward the purchase of a water cannon.

When questioned by Shadow Home Affairs Minister, Deborah Backer, as to how much money was set aside to buy such a piece of equipment, Substantive Minister Clement Rohee told the House that $37M has been earmarked.
When asked by Backer what the Home Affairs Ministry intended to do with the water cannon, Rohee told the house that it will be used to manage public order and will be used against large demonstrations.
A water cannon is a device that shoots a high-pressure stream of water. Typically, water cannons can deliver a large volume of water, often over dozens of metres/hundreds of feet. They are used in firefighting and riot control.
Sources among the opposition have welcomed the move by the Home Affairs Ministry to employ the use of non lethal force against demonstrators.Knews

Now...lets pause here, the government spends $37 million on a water cannon "just in case" any "riots" occur. In this case, it's legit enough to contest that this newly bought material will be used in protests in front of OP (Office of the President), Parliament and or any other closely related government building just in case people decide not to move. I have reasons to believe that this is part of the government's on going strategy to tackle anything that gets in their way. Their motto, "spray or get out of the way".

Since When?

2010-02-25T22:37:00.005-04:00

I was watching the Annual Flag Raising Ceremony commemorating the 40th Anniversary of the Cooperative Republic of Guyana when I noticed something extremely disturbing. Since when do we hold flag raising ceremonies during the day?

Did we run out of so much patience and fireworks that it caused us to just hold a lil' ceremony out of laziness? Now let's eliminate the fact that it was drizzling, that Chief of Police (Commissioner) Henry Greene's belly was blocking the view of everything thus making one ponder as to how he fits into vehicles and the fact that BJ is growing some hair back. The main problem is the insult of hosting a flag raising ceremony during the day.

Look...if y'all ran out of fireworks and gun powder I cudda call my cousin Leroy, who knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows another body that can supply those things across the border for an undetermined price...if y'all know what I mean. *Jam...skins teeth*

Roger Khan's "Laptop" Now Only $459.99 (Refurbished) ?

2010-02-23T00:02:00.001-04:00

+Click on Image to Enlarge

What Taxes Really Do to People

2010-02-18T16:09:00.003-04:00

CNN-- An Austin, Texas, resident with an apparent grudge against the Internal Revenue Service set his house on fire Thursday and then crashed a small plane into a building housing an IRS office with nearly 200 employees, officials said.

Federal authorities identified the pilot of the Piper Cherokee PA-28 as Joseph Andrew Stack, 53.

Two people were injured and one person was missing, local officials said. There were no reported deaths.

A message on a Web site registered to Stack appears to be a suicide note.

"If you're reading this, you're no doubt asking yourself, 'Why did this have to happen?' " the message says. "The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time."

In the lengthy, rambling message, the writer rails against the government and, particularly, the IRS.

The building into which the airplane crashed is a federal IRS center with 199 employees. "I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different," the online message says. "I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let's try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well."

Two people were transported to University Medical Center Brackenridge, said hospital spokeswoman Matilda Sanchez. She could not provide additional information...More.

The Adventures of Swaggalicious

2010-02-17T22:19:00.006-04:00

As the crimson sun nears its end during the day...I'm the geeky fat guy strapped with a laptop instructing you over the phone on how to fuck up your computer adequately so that I can make money off of you. In the night, I transform into a guy with glasses, laden with Sponge Bob boxers, a Red Cape and a white T-shirt with an emblem I don't know but I wear it anyway.

My name, you'll never know, my intention; an anti swagger fighting, nut busting, backhanding, tight pants hemmed up hating, bent out of shape and frustration Super Hero. My goal? To drown you out of your misery...literally.

Scene 1 Episode 1

Girl: Hey baby, you headin' down to Mash this weekend?

Observer: Wa? Isn't Mash a weekday?

Girl: Ugh...dude what ever. Are you going or not?

Observer: Ummm...I'm not 100% sure.

Girl: OMG! (Literally spelt out) You can't be serious! Are you serious!

Observer: *Looks around to see anyone is watching* Yeah...yeah shhh.

*Guy walks up with tight pants, humongous shades and an open shirt. Attempts to give a pound*.

*Takes out wild cane and starts lashing guy continuously.*

After about 15 minutes of hollering and lashes later...

*Pants, looks at girl...looks back guy on the floor hollering with a piece of his shades cracked showing his eyes*.

Observer: *Takes out bounty and wipes face* Yeah I might be going. I think I'm heading down to the Carib Band to get paid to "dance up" in the sun. And the name's Swagga...Swaggalicious.

Only Now?

2010-02-14T10:31:00.002-04:00

Yesterday in the Kaieteur News at the bottom of an image with a White Escalade (with couple of other vehicles) taking smoke out from the grass fire at Mandela Avenue, were texts captioned "Gov't considers water rationing".

Now folks, lets consider the omnipresence of the fact that one of Guyana's main themes is engraved "Land of Many Waters", which from the inception of everything shouldn't be such a hard commodity to acquire in our dear country. However, lets consider the fact that we work on a 1 of everything economy. Meaning, if we have 1 main phone, power and water company then the money grabbers wouldn't have a major problem collecting revenue, disconnecting, reconnecting here and there from a few non-wealthy folks while the wealthy ones owe millions of dollars overdue.

Anyway...lets get back to this water issue, now..."the water issue" has been around for some time now (actually months but whose counting eh...*looks at dried up trench*). Are we going to become like Venezuela where we'd have to spend 3 minutes or less in the shower? Mankind gon have to start choke and rob for water...and don't think about running, I have a shotgun, lasso and a steed.

Letter to HJtv

2010-02-11T13:56:00.003-04:00

Dear Promoters Over at HJtv,

I took it upon myself to inform y'all of y'all infomercial about inviting Machel Montano (Trini Soca Singer) to Guyana for Mashramani. The part that bothers me is where he says, "y'all ready for Mashrani". Look...the best thing to do was to play a blasted tape where the man atleast pronounces the word Mashramani properly.

What kind of shitty PR campaign is that? Is that the best way to hype some people up for Mash? Get someone (specifically an artist) to pronounce the thing wrong and then throw in a set of graphics to hide it? Eh? Look yall *box* better *box* get *box* that *box* shit *box* straight.

Ps: I was never a fan of Soca anyway.

Observer

Slap Down Master

Days Before We Drown: A Climate Change Special

2010-02-07T18:48:00.000-04:00

In honour of all these theories that scientists are beginning to develop, we here at Peer Guyana have started our very own. It's called "The Days Before We Drown" event where every $500 spent will give you a free gift voucher to collect a recyclable plastic bag and floatable device just incase shit happens cause' we're 6+ feet below sea level.

Things you need to do before you ~~drown~~ get a voucher;

- Signed over your will to everyone cause' you're not sure who's gonna survive.

- Make sure you own no pets incl. dogs, cats, iguanas, tapir, cayman, bush cows and or jaguars.

- Make sure you're living in a house where you know that if you see water on your step during a rainy season something's definately wrong.

- Shop at Giftland Office Max in aid and support for their New Outdoor Mall that was supposed to start building early 2008 but anyway moving on...

- Tell Donald Ramotar that he can't run for President.

- Give Benschop a chance to stay in hotels in Bartica...don't treat the man like that rabbit in the Trix commercial.

- Tell Vanilla she can't sing...believe me I've tried.

- Tell BJ to shave his bleddy limsy.

- Let GT&T realise that by paying $10,000 for a 256Kb connection is robbery to mankind.

NB: North America seems to always have record breaking cold temperatures since this whole "world got hotter by 1 degree" madness. If you are harassed during any of the aforementioned tasks above, we are not liable to give a compensation (s) of any kind. Thank you.

These People are Full of It

2010-02-05T18:18:00.007-04:00

Imagine some American Church Group gets held for trying to smuggle some children out of Haiti without any type of reasoning or consent from the Government. Not to mention what they're doing is illegal but the cacophony gets worse.

Now they're using some sort of excuse to send former President Bill Clinton to act as a sort of Diplomat to aid the situation. Not because the man went and "rescued" two Asian journalists from North Korea because they crossed the border illegally...makes him some sort of hero.

This shit is just as bad as Leon complaining about Bloggers, when I'm sure he sits down at approximately 7:00pm or 11:00pm to watch NCN's annual Stretch Out Magazine (A PG-Rated version of what us bloggers do) during the Christmas Season...but yah know...who am I to judge.

BJ to Appear on Deal or No Deal: Shutdown Bartica Edition

2010-02-02T10:00:00.002-04:00

Can the LCDS clause really be enough to convince miners?

Letter to Churches

2010-01-29T12:37:00.006-04:00

Dear People Over at Churches,

Mankind was hungry, so mankind decided to chip over to your "prestigious" establishment to take a quick bite. After much flirtation and bargaining skills with the girls at the counter...I still had to pay the money for my 1 piece w/a drink and additionals. However, when mankind took a bite of the chicken, mankind could literally feel his teeth touching the bones of the meat already through a thick layer of crunchiness.

Mankind decided to make a further investigation into this matter, only to discover that the whole fucking chicken is pure flour and if you're lucky enough you might spot a lil' white meat here and there. Y'all can't rob people so! What about giving the customers what they want? God Dammit.

Ps: I would like to collect that red skin girl's number just in case of an emergency like what happened above.

Churches Chicken Fan

Observer

Bharrat At MENs Week Opening?

2010-01-27T18:09:00.004-04:00

Wait...wait...wait. I just realised something. Why was Bharrat invited to the MENs Week opening, doing motivational speeches and shit? Wouldn't it be ironic to take advice from the only divorced, car-tek-awayer (new word) President in the Caribbean?

I guess everyone's forgetting about that little "incident" with Varshnie last year.

Tax Dollars Wasted Again

2010-01-27T17:51:00.006-04:00

What's all this about getting Iranian researchers to map Guyana's mineral deposits? Is this what my 33 1/3 going to? Jaggy travelling to the Middle East and meeting communists? Why doesn't this so called President explain himself when signing all these MOUs/IOUs?

Help Us Help Haiti

2010-01-25T14:45:00.003-04:00

We here at Peer Guyana are starting to feel the "main squeeze" when it comes to making a donation or two. I mean yeah, so what if we donate $100 to the Cellink Fund and still $9 gets taken out for sending the text alone.

As of today we're initiating the Cut Off A Foot Save a Life Foundation, solely dedicated to making those reporters start shaving off body parts for donations. If that doesn't work, then the Haitians are going to have to start eating reporters since there's a scarcity of resources. There's no shame in consuming a reporter if he/she keeps pestering you about food. Why? Cause' Observer said so.

A Kanye Moment...

2010-01-22T13:26:00.002-04:00

Yo, Rescue & Aid Workers, I know that you're all trying to be heroes and shit but, amma congratulate y'all later. Do y'all realise that Haiti is the Caribbean Island/Country with the highest HIV/AIDS rate in the Caribbean? By the way Jimmy you got a bruise there.

I'm just sayin' *shrugs shoulders*.

What a Shame

2010-01-20T12:37:00.008-04:00

Imagine an excess amount of contributions is being poured into the Haiti relief fund by companies you won't expect donating such a large amount of money.

The Government has the audacity to only contribute $1 million ~~Nira (Nigerian currency)~~ US of A dollars. Even the effin' Police Force did better.

By the way...where the hell is BJ? Doesn't it cost like over $2000 US to travel to the Middle East?

Contrary to MENs Week...

2010-01-20T12:30:00.005-04:00

Man shot in penis while resisting arrest

January 20, 2010 | By KNews | Filed Under News

A man will wait anxiously for the next few days after he was hospitalised yesterday after being shot in the penis by police.

Hugel Cummings, 38, of 156 North Ruimveldt, had a confrontation with police when the incident occurred. According to reports, Cummings who is allegedly wanted by police was confronted by two ranks sometime late yesterday afternoon in the Roxanne Burnham Gardens area when he put up a struggle.

A source told Kaieteur News that Cummings was getting the better of the two ranks during the confrontation, when one of the officers was forced to discharge a round to control the raging man. He was shot in the left side groin with the bullet piercing his penis in the process. According to the source, the man’s penis was badly swollen and up to press time it was not clear if the bullet had exited the penis or was still lodged there.

MENs Week

2010-01-20T01:02:00.004-04:00

I've heard recently that there's some kind of motivational men's forum for an entire week (not sure if it's this week or the other but anyway...). I have a question regarding the layout of the acronym MEN.

MEN originally stands for Men Empowering Network...note that the initial beginning of this acronym is men. It would've been better if it was called Male Enhancement Network since it involves grown men standing in unison for seven days, holding hands and uh...stating their uh..."issues".

*Voice from the back of the room* Observer, exactly what...*stick of chalk accurately lands in person's mouth causing them to choke and collapse.*

*Cut to scene of Observer smoking a cigar in a comfy chair* As I was saying, rename the bleddy thing to Male Enhancement Network...don't mind the skepticism, continuous laughter and egg throwing, atleast it's better than saying the word men twice.

And uh...oh yeah...Kester D will be there complaining about people trying to assassinate him (paranoid schizophrenia).

Why Teenagers Should Stop Trying to Make Sex Tapes

2010-01-15T16:15:00.005-04:00

The following conversation is taken from a Trinidadian sex video.

Boy: Suck de ting nah girl!

Girl: It dead!

Boy: It gon git hard just now...suck de thing nah man.

Girl: Me ent able.

Boy: We goin' jus now. Suck de thing quick nah.

*Girl pushes away reluctantly*

*Boy grabs girl's head*

Boy: Come nah baby...suck de thing quick so we could get back.

*Frustration and crying sound can be heard in the background*.

Outside Effect

2010-01-15T00:51:00.006-04:00

*Yawns, pinches hair on chest* Let's see what's 0n. *Flips though channels Anderson Cooper, Anderson Cooper more Anderson Cooper...oh shit Predator 2 is on!

10 Minutes Later...

Message: We're sorry to interrupt you during this program, but we wish to show you more highlights of swollen up black people's bodies (don't mind us), concerns about Americans being at risk even though two planes flew out with them already including helpless people screaming under buildings . We also wish to advise you that Predator 2 won't be continuing due to technical difficulties so you've completely wasted 10 minutes of your life. Good Night.

Uncle Bharrat Not Lending a Helping Hand?

2010-01-13T13:56:00.005-04:00

Wait...how come Bharrat ain't say nothing as yet pertaining to these Haitians? What...no pledge to get some business man to raise 3-4 Million dollars to help them people out? Oh yeah...I forgot...maybe if they were from Indonesia or something. I guess a 7.0 earthquake on the Richter Scale ain't nothing these days.

Irfaan Ali Confirmed Pregnant for Two Years: Sources Say It has Something to Do with Chinese Food

2010-01-12T14:14:00.003-04:00

That time of the Season

2010-01-10T23:58:00.004-04:00

Unknown: Yo, do you realise people are randomly gettin' killed?

Observer: Yeah, I saw a couple of articles in the Newspapers. What are you gonna use for protection?

Unknown: *points and walks over to a scrawly dog spread out laying on the step* You know how vicious this dog is?

Observer: ...

Unknown: Bai, I ent mekin joke. *Takes stick and taps dog on testes*.

Observer: Boday the dog ent even budgin'.

Unknown: Watch again. *Goes closer, throws away the stick* Lashes dog once more, dog snaps*. [Unknown's screams echoing in the distance followed by laughter].

Observer: *Shakes head* Must be election time again.

Breaking Late News: Another Jagdeo Imposter Creating a Stir

2010-01-06T15:53:00.004-04:00

Once again someone exposed Jaggy pun the Internet. This time; to rake money off of people on Facebook. The GPF(Guyana Police Force) are said to be working "dilligently" to catch the "master mind" behind such blasphemy, because Jaggy doesn't want to hear anyone trying to imposterise (new word) him.

It's already reported that GPF hired their own special until of Elite Hackerers (also new word) from Computer World (a business enterprise in Guyana) to investigate using high tech tools like Microsoft Office, Word, Excel, Power Point, Access & many more tools. Stay tuned as we bring you more news on the ~~awesomeness that this person did~~ havoc this person is creating.

What Should Happen in the New Year

2010-01-01T01:56:00.007-04:00

Roger Luncheon to be kidnapped; beard completely shaved off.
Bharrat to stay away from the illusion that we're experiencing "major" deforestation issues.
Donald Ramotar to NEVER run for President even if he volunteered to.
Varshnie to come back.
Bharrat to go bald.
All GINA tapes to be mysteriously burned.
Robert Corbin should wear a permanent mask.
Put Priya on permanent leave for handling major stories in the news. NB: She's never there in the first place being the Minister Human Services and Social Security et al.
Peeing on poles should be allowed again...screw the war on bad manners.
Coolie people should stop denying that they're not associated with sex, drugs and money laundering scandals.
Ban Carib Beer (Trust me you'll know why it should be banned).
Freddie to get a bottom for his house.
Benschop to stay out of prison.
Another Power Company.
Another Phone Company.
Gerry should learn to read/given a bib.
Manny Ram to do psychological tests on people before they go to Kaieteur Falls.
Half of the clothing stores in Guyana to be shut down 'cause certain people gettin' eye turn from all those infomercials.
New bicycles for security guards.
Give ~~Amerindian~~ Indigenous people a mini Georgetown so that they won't have to keep bringing up that day they visited GT.

And...oh yeah...Happy New Year!

Kaieteur News and Their Brightness

2009-12-29T17:27:00.004-04:00

Dear People over at KNews,

When you extract a photo of a minor, it's always good to NOT show their faces like you did with that boy whose testicles were burned like a piece of ham. Why don't you guys show clippings of this shit on the front page, or is it because they're two rich coolie chirren?

The Horror...The Horror!

2009-12-27T22:14:00.007-04:00

Dear Public,

Here in Guyana the temperature is always atleast above 45 Degrees Celsius (NB the average human temperature is about 37 Degrees Celsius) i.e. no excessive amount of clothing as if it's going to Winter in Guyana for the first time. Many may ask what's the point Observer is trying to get at?

Well...since giving Main Big Lime a brief visit yesterday, I've concluded that we're all going to die from a brief illness known as Acute Semi-Americanitis Syndrome (ASS for short). NB: Please do not confuse this with this. Below I've laid out several steps in knowing whether or not you've been infected;

- You've become obsessed with Mohawks.

- Scarfs that look like kitchen cloths (please take note that if you see two black dudes approaching you smiling, run like hell.

- Over the top jeans that can squeeze your nuts like a a bunch of grapes.

- Shirts with emblems that you're not familiar with what exactly the meaning of them are, but you wear them anyway cause' you're too cool to know.

- Very Light Voice.

- You pronounce every word with a twang.

- You've never been out of Guyana but you have an American accent.

- Haven't tasted creole food in weeks.

C.N.Sharma Gets Lick Down By Route 41 Minibus After Another Radio Licence Rejection: Sources Say BJ is Somehow Involved

2009-12-23T14:00:00.000-04:00

A snapshot of the apparent collision

Copenhagen in a Summary

2009-12-19T17:03:00.006-04:00

Copenhagen was the prime venue for the Climate Change Summit to take place in Denmark (that's in Europe for slow people). What exactly was the summit about? Handing out money to ~~leaders~~ nations who would want to further benefit from filling their pockets by being allotted an excess amount of money because rain skipped a month and all of a sudden the place is hotter.

Apparently, this whole climate change thing is raising a storm by creating panic that the polar ice caps are melting at a fast rate, we're all going to die, scientists trying to find other planets like Earth and polar bears becoming extinct. As far as I look at it there's still land in Arctic regions, so they won't all die.

BJ decided that it would be a more than excellent time to go and beg because of his Low Carbon Development Strategy deal with Norway which by the way aren't sure they're going to give him $250 Million by 2015 or something like that, but he signed anyway.

Maybe They Did It?

2009-12-17T01:08:00.002-04:00

Ever watch a commercial so long that it gave you constipation and diarrhea for 2 days? Well...that's what E-Netwoks did. (By the way congrats on the accomplishment). Look...E-Netwoks is no doubt an excellent TeeVee package for the broke, cheap and plain Ole' 4 for $5 people like myself. 'Cause ya know, mankind gotto rely on channel 27.5 (28) and ch.9 for proper news these days. Reason why it's called ch.27.5 is the fact that Francis Quamina Farrier does paranoid reports on shit like anti-Obama rallies in North America and where to get the best Cheese roll.

The man in the ad is practically laughing at a football match every time he switches on the tv, while the sexy body girl watches and makes weird looking face gestures. Who the hell laughs at a football match, unless it's Zinadine Zidane head-butting somebody due to mother jokes in a foreign language.

Anyway, these are the inceptions I get every time I watch it;

1. Dec Salt Ad (Big Foot & Goudy [swollen testicles] Protection) Pronounced: Go-Dee

2. Spousal Abuse Ad (*Sings* This one is for you Priya *Points finger into crowd*)

3. HIV Ad

4. Semi-Porno

5. Two Deaf Coolie People

6. Two Half Blind Coolie People

7. Two Half Deaf/Half Blind Coolie People

8. The Beginning of a Baygon or any other Insect Repellant Ad

Charmaine Blackman Does a Funeral Song and Popular Christmas Carol at the Same Time

2009-12-12T00:35:00.004-04:00

Real badasses dress for a double occasion.

I didn't do it...I swear!

2009-12-10T23:56:00.005-04:00

Friend: Greetings, Gazaaa me seh *pound* Yo Observuh, yuh heading down to the Gaza strip on Saturday or wuh?

Observer: ...

Friend: How much Beenie yuh carryin' if yuh goin'?

Observer: ...

Friend: Ey, that show gon be top...top...top!

Observer: ...

Friend: Bai, I ent know 'bout you but I rolling with me Aeropostal Shirt and me hem up pencil jeans with me converses and me brother beekle shades.

Observer: ...

Friend: *Pauses* You rather quiet man, yo what the fuck you reachin' for? Like you...

End

We Know You Have a Problem...

2009-12-10T23:40:00.003-04:00

Dear Stress Dj,

First of all, thanks for inviting us to another 70's and 80's party. However, we've noticed that you can't get over the fact that we're in the 2000's now and that repeating words 3 times isn't allowed in this country anymore unless you're a teacher or improvising on hear-ing-aids.

Another thing that bugs us is the fact you're constantly Ad Raping Josephs Cassette and DVD Store to a point where mankind could literally predict what you're going to say when you interrupt a bleddy important scene in a movie just to discuss pirated releases. NB: I only watch Ch.65 to laugh at Chad and see movies that weren't recorded by somebody coughing, wheezing, trying to auto focus the camera manually and trying to hide the camera from the ushers that patrol the cinema.

On a final note, we...we...we have something to tell you...we're in 2009 man...yeah, we're moving quickly into 2010 so you have at least 2 more decades to catch up on current events like the Afghanistan War, Bird Flu, and the Pope dying. Look man...look we can't do this for you man, you've gotto change man *grabs collar, 267.5 degree slap* Rhythmic crying sound in the background *an incisor goes flying in mid air followed by a ball of saliva in slow motion.*

Ps: We're not coming.

Observer,

Blogger

A Man, a Dog, Pagalyness and the Kaieteur Falls

2009-12-09T16:20:00.003-04:00

GDF loses pork-knocker’s body

By Michel Outridge

The Guyana Defence Force (GDF) yesterday reported that they managed to retrieve the decomposing body of pork-knocker Michael Lesile from the bottom of the Kaieteur gorge, but lost it while transporting it down a rapid on Monday.

The army said at 13:30h on Monday, a GDF team comprising of two Officers and 12 soldiers recovered the body of missing gold miner, Michael Leslie, at the bottom of the Kaieteur gorge.

However, it was not possible to take it up by rope to the top of the Kaieteur Falls. The recovery team placed the remains in a body bag, wrapped it in a tarpaulin, and proceeded to transport it via stretcher to Tukeit - a three and a half hour trek, the GDF said.

The army said while traversing the rapid, the legs of one of the soldiers became entangled in the rope that restrained the body, and both the soldier and the body were dragged towards the rapids.

To save the soldier, a decision was taken by the other team members to sever the rope and the miner’s remains were swept further into the rapids and disappeared. The soldier was rescued. Several searches were conducted up until nightfall to locate the body, the GDF reported.

The search resumed yesterday morning and continued throughout the day but the body has not yet been found. Additional searches will be conducted tomorrow and these will include civilians who have knowledge of the area.

Meanwhile, members of the Guyana Police Force (GPF) will be travelling upriver from Mahdia in the event that the body floats past Tukeit.

The brother of the dead miner, Mr. Courtney Perry, is involved in the search efforts.

Rennie Michael Lesile, 36, of 328 West Ruimveldt, Georgetown, was last seen on November 29, 2009 in the Potaro area in a canoe on his way to his mining camp.

It is alleged that he encountered difficulties and may have drowned although he was a relatively good swimmer. His body was spotted a few days later at the bottom of the Kaieteur Falls.

He had reportedly left his camp to take out someone to the airstrip and was on his way back accompanied by his dog when tragedy struck.

His body was spotted in between some rocks but the dog reportedly survived.

Man's best friend eh?

A Guyanese Youth's Interpretation of Gaza vs Gully

2009-12-08T12:30:00.002-04:00

I've been made to understand that Vybz Kartel will be visiting our country on Saturday 12th, December as one of the "hottest" artists lined up for the year end. Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding his visit is uncertain by many youths since the dawn of this "misinterpretation" of this "Gully vs. Gaza" jiggery pokery going around.

Now, the artists and promoters who've been banging on these subjects for so long have now turned tail between legs and are showing indications for youths to stop interpreting it as something somewhat gang related. The question is, whether these artists can bring across a platform of music for the youth to interpret differently without thinking about whose on whose side and solving everything with violence.

A typical example would be on a "call-in" program where a male voice would bellow "Gaza/Gully meh seh", and the promoters hollering back at them to stop with "this thing" when they're the ones doing the promotions. Or a recording of a recent event being replayed where the words Gaza or Gully are clearly implemented/raped several times in the beginning of each sentence.

My question is, why try to rationalise and patch together something you've created a complete mess out of? Either way, this is going to continue until someone suffers from Lick Shot Syndrome and decides on who jumpin' fence and who gettin' trampled on.

Senna Pod

2009-12-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

We've all heard of the popular video & music player known as the iPod. Well, the young, innovative ~~half dedicated~~ dedicated folks here at Peer Guyana realise the importance of knocking a good shit (please note the amount of times that we said shit doesn't coincide with us sayin' shit right now) and the extreme quietness that comes with it.

Imagine knocking a shit and someone comes near the stall to yours, obviously you'd hear that person straining, complaining about not knocking a shit for days, well worry your woes no more! We...well I present to you an exclusive look at our next product "The Senna Pod", from the makers of the iPod and Senna reaping facilities.

NB: Some symptoms include headache, vomitting, recollection of tragic events, dry eyes, loss of hearing, constant self abuse and dementia. No to be used with alcohol & not for the weak or faint hearted. If used beyond 12 days of expiry, a full 3% refund will be available. Shipping & delivery charges apply.

The Nobel Shit Prize

2009-12-06T10:02:00.002-04:00

Here at Peer Guyana, we never like leaving people out of certain ~~unfortunate~~ circumstances. So we try as best as possible to invert and intervene as best as possible to strike a balance. After much phone calls, conducting research & information online we've concluded that BJ is 99.999% not able to cop the gracious Nobel Peace Prize. We've even been hearing rumours that someone (David Dabydeen) nominated the chap.

Nevertheless, we've still come up with a viable solution if BJ starts to break down when he hears nobody gives a shit...no we really mean it this time. I present to you the Nobel Shit Prize. A prestigious award only given to the highest caliber of "shittyness" by an individual. Don't worry Corbie yuh gon get one soon.

Guyana as an Example? Has the World Gone Mad?

2009-12-03T12:48:00.004-04:00

Three countries contemplate adopting Guyana’s system
December 3, 2009 | By KNews | Filed Under News

… Financing mechanisms for REDD+:

Several countries within the region are in Guyana to examine this country’s work on financing mechanisms for maintaining its forest cover and exploring possibilities of replicating it.
The two-day workshop, organized by the Guyana Forestry Commission (GFC) and the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO) and which opened yesterday, was expected to review possible financing mechanism to compensate countries with high forests and low deforestation (HFLD) rates for efforts to preserve forest cover and to discuss options and recommend an applicable mechanism.
Here for the workshop are representatives from Dominica, Suriname and Belize.
FAO’s representative, Claus Ecklemann, at the opening, noted that Guyana has “jumped the gun”, taking the initiative and already entering an agreement with Norway to manage this country’s forests.
According to Ecklemann, Guyana’s situation is similar to Suriname’s with more than 80 per cent of its forests still intact.
With greenhouse gases being blamed on the ravages of climate, there is are no questions that something needs to be done.
Like Guyana, there are several countries that can vie for the opportunity of being rewarded for forest cover, he disclosed.
Cuba for example, since the 1960 has managed to reclaim 13 per cent of its forests which was lost to degradation, he said.
The idea of yesterday’s workshop, therefore, is for countries to learn from the Guyana experience.
Minister of Agriculture, Robert Persaud, noted that the workshop is timely since it gives Guyana an opportunity to showcase its pioneering work in the fight against climate change that could encourage regional and global replication.
Pointing out that Guyana has not over-utilized its resources, Persaud was confident that overtime, through successive government, a system to protect this country’s forests has been fully developed. In addition to the various measures, there is a transparent method in Guyana’s land allocation and log tracking system, among others.
Additionally, over 360,000 hectares of virgin forests under the care of Iwokrama Rainforests has been given to the international community as a model of forest conservation.
Guyana’s record of only 0.3 per cent of deforestation is a prime example of its policies, he pointed out.
And this comes in spite of continuous logging in an atmosphere of deliberate policies to protect the eco-system.
According to Persaud, along with the opening of Takatu Bridge, linking Brazil and Guyana and the Berbice Bridge, there have been several applications for investments in soya beans and palm oil farms, and gold and diamond permits.
These are real opportunities that can pose significant threats to the forests of Guyana, Persaud said.
Arguing his case for financial rewards for this country’s forests, the Minister said that the emphasis alone should not be on reducing emissions but must consider avoided deforestation and sustainable forest management.
There must be a global recognition that developing countries would need financial support to help in the fight against climate change.
Against this background, the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen later this month must take a decision to provide financing for developing countries like Guyana, the Minister said.

The official noted that yesterday’s workshop would serve to detail the processes experienced to reach where it is and the participating countries should be able to adopt and replicate it.

Now let's look at some facts here. Guyana has 60 % [percent] of untouched forest, mostly ~~Amerindians~~ Indigenous people live within these forests, most of the population is located on the coastal plain, BJ expects to receive $250 million from Norway just for "preservation purposes", only a rough average of about 0.3-4.5 % of trees are being cut down for logging and exportation and logging is one of Guyana's premier job markets and GDP booster. Mostly foreign mining companies operate in Guyana which leaves the question as to what sense does preserving 60% of forest make. This is like a competition to see who licks batty (ass or anus) the most.

The Teletubbies: Government Edition

2009-12-02T16:23:00.004-04:00

+ Click to enlarge

From Left: Lunchy Munchy, Queerie, Beggy & Moe

Tiger Turned Prey

2009-12-02T12:45:00.004-04:00

The latest hype surrounding the media these days is about Tiger Woods crashing his vehicle. The media pressured the man so much to answer questions that he has to appologise to people for crashing and not telling them the reason why he crashed.

These things, my friends, are issues that are to be resolved within the family and friends circle. What kind of nonsense is this world coming to where someone would have to apologise for a not so close to fatal incident and not explaining their actions. This is just as ridiculous as President Obama pardoning a turkey in the white house, knowing to himself that that turkey is going to die the next year...hell even the turkey knew that.

Kwame's Secret Ad Campaign

2009-12-01T17:35:00.003-04:00

Folks, it has come to my attention by a friend, that Kwame has a secret advertising campaign inviting little boys to visit the office of the President between the hours of 1:30-5:30 pm, Eastern Caribbean time (preferably 5:30) for interviews. Those interested are asked to contact the O.P using the information provided below.

Title: Bugga for cash! (As seen when received).

Boys ages 12-15 years old. TEXT office of O.P" (Office of the Prezi) to 1444 for a chance to be 1-10 LUCKY boys to WIN Kwame Mc ~~Queer~~ Coy for yourself. DO NOT ASK PARENT PERMISSION! Offer ends December 31st. GT&T the bigger bugga network.

Top Ten Reasons Why BJ Visited the Commonwealth HoG Meeting

2009-11-28T21:00:00.005-04:00

1. Because he wanted to stand second from right near the Queen of England.

2. He wanted to reach the exact time the Queen's chartered flight was scheduled to arrive in PoS (no it doesn't mean piece-of-shit or point-of-sale).

3. He wanted to appear in photos to look semi-important (by the way what's Guyana still doing on the Commonwealth nations' list anyway?).

4. To Beg.

5. To appear as the only Indo member of CARICOM.

6. To appear as the only bachelor President in CARICOM.

7. To voice his frustration on the Low Carbon Defective Strategy to people who don't give a rat's ass.

8. To waste 33 1/3% of white collar salaries.

9. To be around white people.

10. To refrain from notions of ambiguity within Guyana's financial sector (which by the way is up shit creek) so that other nations won't think we ain't deh suh bad.

Like Signing a Death Warrant

2009-11-25T19:15:00.006-04:00

Went into a GT&T (no it's not pronounced GTNT or GTT) outlet today. My reason? So I can let the government overhear me having phone sex with my girlfriend. Not that I cared anyway, since they were tapping lines even before the bill came into one's existence/frame of mind.

Place looked eerie, no sign of life besides the clerks and cashiers looking at you as though you're constipated or just walked into a gigantic (only god knows who came up with this word) pile of cow manure and decided to let shit splash all over the floor as you walk across the tile with a friendly smile.

Went up to the first clerk that looked the easiest to have an intelligent conversation with, only to find out she was going on a break. The second one looked as though, if she had the chance she would have beaten anyone to death with a phone book within close proximity. My instincts told me whether or not I should annoy the shit out of her (to be continued...). She told me to have a seat, gave me a form to fill out, asked me for my phone, id card and proof of address and so on.

NB: Future reference for G-T-&-T and the Government, if you want to implement something without making people kick, scream and react in a violent nature just because they received a worrying text message about their number not being entered into a Query database...don't make it a worst case scenario by having shitty customer service.

We're at Group No# 8...One For the Record Books

2009-11-23T14:53:00.004-04:00

Extract from StabNews.

Corrupt politicians in poor countries having a field day!

Raking in US$20 to US$40 billion annually in bribes, kickbacks -Transparency International

Corrupt politicians and government officials in “developing and transition countries” are believed to receive bribes and kickbacks totalling between US$20 billion and US$40 billion annually, the equivalent of between 20 and 40 per cent of development assistance, according to the 2009 Global Corruption Report published by Transparency International.

And according to the report the business sector continues to play “a very exposed role” as the supplier of corrupt payments to civil servants, members of government and political parties. These kickbacks, the report says, may be actively solicited, extorted or extorted proactively.

“The scale and scope of bribery in business is staggering. Nearly two in five polled business executives have been asked to pay a bribe when dealing with public institutions. Half estimated the corruption raised project costs by at least 10 per cent. One in five claimed to have lost business because of bribes paid by a competitor. More than a third felt that corruption is getting worse,” the Transparency International Report says.

Guyana is among a group of eight countries – that include Eritrea, Ethiopia, Honduras, Mozambique and Uganda – ranked at 126 among 180 countries listed in the Transparency International Report. Publication of the Report coincides with ongoing public debate arising out of revelations of corrupt practices that involve collusion between private sector entities and state agencies which involve the payment of bribes and kickbacks in transactions which are mostly designed to defraud the public treasury. These practices have seen fingers pointed mostly at the Guyana Revenue Authority and more particularly at the Customs and Trade Administration (CTA). The most recent scandal involving the alleged payment of hundreds of millions of dollars in bribes by a local company, Fidelity Investments, has been the subject of a public enquiry that has led to charges against some customs officials. The case against Fidelity was later discontinued without an explanation to the public. More

Taxes, Electricity and a Man with a Mustache Like Hitler

2009-11-23T14:17:00.005-04:00

The Mayor and City Council (M&CC) is under scrutiny for evading electricity bills from the Guyana Power and Light Company (GPL) and is currently being run by generator(s) courtesy of Hammy. I wonder if Hammy getting air conditioning and thing since their light get cut off how long ago. I hear that it is possible to sweat from your scalp as scientists have proven it to rarely occur among homosapiens.

The People's National Waste Congress Reform (PNWCR) are now willing to pay up their taxes so that BJ can travel to Norway to receive his once a month foot massage from a Norwegian masseuse and be served grapes, apples and shit from trained chimpanzees (not sure if there are any there but anyway...) with our 33 1/3 % plus VAT and PNWCRs share as well.

For now I'll just shout out something random that made sense from 1996 to present...Yellow Taxi!

Headless Chicken

2009-11-23T13:59:00.004-04:00

Apparently, some rich business men are running around putting up billboards indicating for BJ to take a third term so that we can continue to be classified by the BBC as a poor South American nation aka. Beggars-R-Us. The PeePeePee in a press statement said that BJ won't be seeking a third term in the long run and will not entertain the thought of him re-entering the Presidential role.

I keep wondering if all of this is a bluff, I mean BJ isn't even half a century as yet and he's saying he doesn't want to (see the reverse psychology here). The constitution clearly states (well atleast ah think suh) that a head of state "may not" be applicable to serve a third term while others are willing to break that cycle by forcing him to serve again. Whether we like it or not BJ has the ability to serve a third term because of some ~~imaginary~~ vote thing circulating and speculating the issue of him once again becoming President. I keep wondering why these business men are so attached to the President and are in dire need to resurrect a ~~failing~~ falling comrade.

Striking Resemblance?

2009-11-22T13:08:00.004-04:00

Grand Theft Auto Guyana 2

2009-11-22T11:41:00.001-04:00

Contrary to this post...